Monday, May 22, 2006 I'll have them

I got my new glasses today. I don't wear glasses often, but sometimes it helps when I've been reading to the point where my eyes melt. These new ones have a cool magnetic sunglasses attachment, sure to be lost someday while frolicking out of doors. As I put them on for the first time, this bland, gray, rainy, two-dimensional Yonago day came alive with color. The trees burst forth in the way that those 3D puzzles do, new props in the Land of Oz, with a snuff-snorting Mel Brooks standing off to the side saying, "Everything's so greeeen!" (I've mixed three metaphors in one sentence, sure to piss off my Freshman Comp-teaching big bro.) My eyes have yet to adjust to the new prescription, so when I look at the ground when I walk, it's like strolling a trampoline.

Now, if only the opthomologists could make specialty glasses for governments. Special colored lenses to help the US see more than black and white. And wide screen lenses for the Japanese Diet, making those edges of their visual tunnel turn fuzzy.

On the turntable: Mike Krstic, "Reboppin' Serbian Folk Dances"
On the nighttable: Mike Pattenden, "Last Orders at the Liar's Bar"

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