Thursday, December 20, 2012

Nippon Extremities: Hokkaido (Obligatory Seinfeld Interlude)

George is at Jerry's and announces his idea to have a sales competition between Yankee Stadium vendors where the winner gets a prize.  Kramer is of course interested, saying that it has always been his dream.  

Next scene:  Elaine and Jerry are eating in a trendy Italian restaurant.  The beautiful young owner comes over to chat and tells them the secret of the food's flavor is in a special olive oil grown in Brazil on cleared rainforest land.  Elaine is of course horrified, but Jerry is too smitten to care.  

Next scene:  Kramer is at Jerry's telling him how he's told all his friends to go to Yankee Stadium so that he'll win the contest.  

Cut to:   The Game.  The words, "Hey Cosmo!" bellowed out from everywhere, and Kramer whirling and firing peanut bags right in there.  Unfortunately, one errant toss to George nails Mr. Wilhelm sitting beside him, dumping nacho cheese all over his suit.

After the game:   George and Jerry at the restaurant, Jerry firming up plans for his date.  She hands him a bottle of the olive oil, saying that she wanted him to have an early batch before it hits the stores.  Outside, the guys are surprised to see Elaine leading a protest against the owner's environmental policies.

Entering the apartment:  Jerry is still trying to convince Elaine to give up her protest.  Kramer enters, moving strangely, gingerly.   Jerry asks, "What's the matter with you?"  
Kramer:  You gotta help me Jerry!"  
Jerry:    "Why?  What happened?"
K:  You know it was hot at the game today, and I was walking a lot, and sweating?"
J: "And?"
K:  "I got chafe!  It's terrible!  I can hardly walk!"
J:  "What'dya want me to do ?"  etc.
Elaine finally hands Kramer the bottle of olive oil that is sitting on the kitchen counter.  

Final scene:  Jerry and the owner on the sofa at his place.  Kramer comes in mellow, gliding.  "Oh sorry to bother you.  I just wanted to give you back this oil.  It worked wonders back there."  The owner is disgusted.  "I knew that that woman leading the protest looked familiar.  She's your friend," etc., until she leaves.

On the turntable:  Steve Reich,  "Drumming"


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