Tuesday, December 27, 2005

How not to take an aikido test

Don't travel to Tokyo two days before, arriving five hours late due to heavy snow. Following this, don't stay up til three drinking wine with friends.

Don't wander Tokyo in an exhausted haze, nearly falling asleep during a Kodo show(!), and then be too tired to have much to say during the party following the show.

Don't begin to hate Nagoya as your train once again sits in the station because of snow. Do giggle in disbelief as it stops again for an earthquake. Don't ride a train which will become over two hours late.

Don't arrive back in town thirty minutes before said test, giving you no time to prepare mentally.

Failing the above steps, be sure to drink heavily at the New Years party following the test. Your drunk sensei will hint that you passed, but is sure to mention how lousy you performed. Alternate drinking sake with the group and drinking Guinness by yourself in a private show of mourning for your Irish Nana. Run into a couple friends out on the street after the party. Agree to "a drink," culminating in mimosas and karaoke at three am.

Following these steps, you're certain to awaken the next morning still drunk. Best of luck!

On the turntable: "Latin Playground"
On the nighttable: Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni, "The Mistress of Spices"

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